Ambivalent is a concept associated with ambivalence (the
particularity of what can be interpreted in contradictory ways with each
other). For psychology, ambivalence is a state of mind in
which opposite emotions coexist.
the ambivalent exists from the notion of valence, which can
be understood as interest or rejection towards a certain thing. What produces
joy or pleasure has positive valence, while what generates sadness or pain has
Ambivalence implies that feelings with positive valence and
negative valence co-exist with respect to the same element. The typical example
of ambivalence is love-hate: "I feel somewhat ambivalent
about Maria: I am fascinated by her and I think I love her but, at the same
time, I hate how she treats me when she is with her friends", "The
situation generates a ambivalence, since it causes me satisfaction and, at the
same time, it causes me pain ”.
There are those who recognize different levels of ambivalence: it can be
temporary or specific (when someone struggles between eating a bowl of noodles
or maintaining a diet, for example), affective (the feelings found about a
person) or intellectual (who pronounces simultaneously favor of a proposition
and its opposite).
A behavior ambivalent may be linked to a mental disorder
such as schizophrenia, the psychosis or obsessive
neurosis, but is also associated with certain states accepted as
normal, as is the case of jealousy.
In some contexts, a person is considered to be ambivalent when communicating
through ambiguous signals, which hinders the social bond: “I
do not understand Ariel: on the one hand he tells me that he misses me and on
the other he does not call me in a week. He's an ambivalent boy. "
Ambivalent-ambivalent insecure attachment
The relationship that children establish with their parents or those closest
adult referents are of vital importance for the development of their affective
If this relationship is based on secure attachment, where
the child feels contained and understood, it is likely that in the future he
will develop enviable emotional stability; if instead the relationship
is one of insecure attachment, the child will feel completely adrift
and in the future it will be extremely difficult for him to establish a coherent
life line, because of that frustrated relationship.
Insecure attachment occurs when the responses parents present to their
children's physical or emotional needs have a certain
ambivalence or contradiction; that is, sometimes they respond positively, others
negatively, and sometimes they do not respond directly. This creates a great
deal of confusion for the child because she does not know when and how her
parents will respond to her needs.
The consequence of all this is a deep feeling of abandonment
and loneliness, which in turn places him powerless in front of his own
existence, losing control; All this leads to great anxiety and manifests itself
in strong self-distrust.
These children grow up with a feeling of never being good enough for
others to love them and are always aware of the affective signs of
their environment; In addition, this experience causes them low self-esteem,
which makes them place themselves many steps below their environment.
The first difficulties of this disorder appear when the child enters an
environment outside the family, generally the school. In this
environment, children manifest clear cognitive and emotional problems; In
this last aspect, they will feel the constant need to receive approval for
everything they do, they will show possessive attitudes, jealousy and rivalry.
The clearest way to define the fundamental characteristic of this type of
attachment is as an intense anxiety to feel loved and the
feeling, at the same time, of not being loved that leads them to develop a
disturbing concern about the attention or interest they present. the others in
front of his person or acts.